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Funerals are a perfectly planned celebration of life, a
reflection of the individual—the lives they touched, the way they spent their
time, and even the music they loved. That is why planning ahead is so important.
People have questions about funerals, especially their own, but are hesitant of
where to turn for answers.
Most people do not understand the elements of a funeral and
are hesitant to ask questions….
basic elements of a funeral…not just what a funeral usually includes, but the
ways to personalize final arrangements and put unique touches on a ceremony… it
is not only an event that will celebrate the life of the individual, but also
one that people will remember for many years.
Planning a funeral is something most of you may not have
experienced before.
What elements usually make up a traditional funeral?
Each element is a healing step that, when included with the other elements,
ultimately leads to a satisfying sense of closure.
As I go over each element, I will also tell you about some ways you can make
funerals a more meaningful tribute for family and friends through
personalization.
VISITATION:
Let’s begin with the visitation. This is a time for friends and family to
support one another in their grief and show their respect for their loved one.
The visitation allows those who loved the person who died to acknowledge the
reality of the death, and gives them the privilege of saying goodbye. After the
visitation, people should feel like they know the deceased a little better. They
should have a good idea of what kind of person he or she was. Usually the
visitation is announced in the local newspaper, alerting others in the community
that may not have been informed.
There are a number of ways you can add a personal touch to the visitation such
as including photographs. Many families find comfort in sorting through
photographs and the memories associated with them. Photographs also allow family
and friends to remember, laugh, cry, and reflect on special moments.
A memory table with personal effects and favorite items also helps share a
person’s life story. Consider any items, large or small, that represent memories
of the life lived.
SERVICE:
The actual funeral service involves many different components, each just as
important as the other. It is an opportunity to bring people together in one
place, at one time, for one purpose—to make a personal statement, a lasting
tribute. Make it a celebration by choosing features that best reflect the
passion and nature of the individual. The core element of any service is a
formal or informal ceremony conducted by clergy, family members or others.
Eulogy-The eulogy acknowledges the unique life of the person who died and
affirms the significance of that life for all who shared in it. Often it is the
most remembered and meaningful element of a funeral ceremony. The eulogy is the
time to give thanks for a person’s life and to honor his or her memory.
Traditionally, it is delivered by a clergy member, the family, or friends.
However, a number of different people could be involved to share stories and
memories.
Music: Many times songs will be played or hymns sung. Usually
the songs selected have some significance to the deceased. Perhaps the music was
a favorite or the lyrics reflect the feelings of those closest to them. One
purpose of music is to help us access our feelings, both happy and sad. During
the funeral ceremony, music helps us cope with our loss and embrace our feelings
of grief. Most people choose music that is meaningful to them or to their
family.
THE PROCESSION AND GRAVESIDE SERVICE:
The procession is not just a line of cars moving from the funeral home to the
burial site. It is a symbol of mutual support and a public honoring of the
death. Mourners feel united as they accompany one another to the final resting
place of their loved one. The graveside service is the final opportunity to say
goodbye. It is a way of honoring the deceased with dignity and respect. Saying a
few last words brings a necessary feeling of finality to the funeral. That is
why even if there is a full funeral service, a short committal service at the
gravesite, mausoleum, or scattering site is still important. (Example: having
each person in attendance take a flower from a memorial arrangement in
remembrance…
CASKET AND MERCHANDISE:
Not only can you choose from several different styles and materials, such as
metal and hardwood, but the interior of the casket can be tailored to fit
individual desires as well. Panel inserts can be personalized to reflect an
individual lifestyle. You can also choose from a selection of emblems to be
placed on the corners of the casket.
CREMATION:
Remember that cremation is simply an alternative to ground burial and not a
replacement for a memorial service. It is important to maintain the other
elements of the funeral in order to honor the loved one and provide closure for
family and friends.
As with caskets, there are a variety of personalized urns and cremation
products.
Most Americans die without making funeral plans? They either
never consider it, or simply never get around to planning it. Either way, that
means loved ones must assume the burden of making funeral arrangement decisions.
Most of the time these decisions are made with little or no prior knowledge of
what the deceased wanted. And many times all of the decisions are made in 48
hours or less. There are three steps you can follow to make sure everything goes
smoothly and according to your wishes.
First step: Gather Personal Information-Gather information
that is needed to complete death certificates, claim forms and benefit
information. You should record where deeds, bank books, stock certificates, and
insurance policies can be found by survivors. For some claims, you may even need
your marriage certificate or military discharge papers. Be sure to give copies
of this information to trusted resources.
Second step: Take time to sit down with a loved one, funeral
director, or counselor and go over all the items mentioned in step one—what kind
of service you want, what type of casket, the music, the flowers. This step
creates a document that is not only valuable for reference, but also helps avoid
any additional questions. (We get great satisfaction from helping families
create meaningful funerals by personalizing final arrangements.)
Third step: A sure way to guarantee that your wishes are
carried out is to make the financial arrangements. By handling the financial
portion of the arrangements, you make an important decision that will take the
monetary strain off of your loved ones during an already stressful time. Making
financial arrangements in advance of need can also benefit those applying for
Medicaid or Supplemental Social Security. Not only can handling the financial
portion in advance ensure that individual wishes are carried out, but also
protect you and your loved ones from rising funeral costs.
CONCLUSION:
We live in a “planning” society. Think about the time and effort that goes into
planning major events in our life—graduations, weddings, birth of a child,
retirement—all of life’s milestones. Even the amount of planning that goes into
our day-to-day activities.
I hope that I have helped you understand the elements of a funeral a little
better—not only its traditional elements, but also the opportunities to
personalize the life of the individual.
I also hope that I have encouraged you to think about the importance of making
final arrangements. It only takes three steps to ensure a funeral is a
celebration of life, a true reflection of the individual. We can address any
questions or concerns you may have. We are here to help you.
For those of you that prefer to take some time to reflect on the information and
are more comfortable going through the planning process online in the comfort of
your own home, you can also visit our website at www.adamsfh.com
Educating the public, particularly local community groups, is very important to
us. If we can be of service to you, please do not hesitate to call. We offer
bereavement materials and a grief support group that meets monthly.
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